i really dont deserve my fans.

i mean, theyre all i could ever ask for. theyre so understanding and funny and theyre all just the best! i really cant put into words how much they mean to me. i think thats why slowing down on my streams hurts so much. they might just move on without me. and, to be fair, i wouldnt blame them! people move on over time. the world keeps turning. itd be selfish of me to think that theyd stay fans of me forever! XP

but i just know that there are some people who love my streams, and having them slow down could change a crucial part of their schedules. aahh, i dont know!! god, im always shifting between "i dont deserve my fans" and "my fans wont miss me"!! theres been so much on my mind lately and i wish i could rationalize any of it but i just cant!!!